The New Normal

Posted in Mommy Fashion by

head_shotSo I know that Eva Mendes got a lot of crap for saying sweat pants cause divorce (or something like that).  But I have to admit that I do try to leave the house in a decent state, i.e. make up and jeans.  It’s not that I believe in what Eva Mendes says–I do it because I don’t want strangers looking at me and thinking I’m a teen mom or nanny.  I know that’s stupid, that I shouldn’t care what others think.  But I do, and so I take the time to put a decent look together whenever I leave the house.  I do have to admit that it is a lot harder to do now that there are two kids to wrangle, but I still try.

You are probably wondering how I ever get the time to shower, let alone slap on some make up and do my hair.  It is a struggle at first, mostly because you are struggling to find a new normal and schedule.  But I cannot leave the house without a shower; that is just something I have always done for most of my life.  And then I quickly do my hair and slap on some make up.  But where do I find the time?  Sammy’s first nap is usually the longest (at least an hour long).  That gives me enough time to do my thing.  What do I do with Oliver?  He’s off playing on his own, but more often than not is watching Sesame Street (I know, I know).

Right, but how do I get my look in an hour?  While I was pregnant with Sammy, I went to Sephora just to get some new makeup/new look.  Sephora will do make overs as long as you buy a certain dollar amount of makeup (I find the free one isn’t long enough, nor thorough).  I did the cheapest one and told the consultant that I have a 2 year old and I’m due in November, so I want a look I can do in 15 minutes.  And you know what, they are really good about what you can do in 15 minutes and how to get that look.  My consultant gave me a long moisturizing routine at first, and I told her flat out that I can’t do that with two.  But she said I can just do the entire routine at night, but put just the moisturizer on in the morning.  Some CC cream to even out my skin tone, quick eyeshadow, a quick way to put on eyeliner, blush, and lip stick.  Super easy.  I felt great, and most importantly I felt like this is doable (and it is!).

But the hair!!!  How do you do your hair!?  If you don’t have a good hair stylist, get recommendations from friends who have similar hair as yours.  I told mine that I desperately needed something I could just wash and wear.  She factored in the postpartum hair shed (that struggle is real btw) and a little hair product, and voila here’s my hair.  Seriously, my hair takes like 2 minutes to get ready.

So you see it is possible to leave the house a little polished.  It really depends on you and if you prioritize this.  And I do.  It makes me feel normal and I don’t get those judgey or sad looks of “that poor teen mom”.  I’m exaggerating (just a little), but you get what I mean.  But I highly recommend talking to someone/people who can advise you on how to get a quick, easy, beautiful mommy look.

Potty Training

Posted in Parenting by

potty_trainingSo we started potty training my son earlier this week.  Day 5 in and I am pretty confident that we have a fairly well trained toddler.  It makes me wonder why I ever feared potty training.  I know the biggest drawback of potty training back in SF is that our house has wall to wall carpet (weird, I know).  So I waited to potty train him here in VA at my parents’ house since we are here for 3 weeks and have their hardwood floors.  There are accidents, and the first two days there were a lot.  But now the accidents are mostly because my son forgets to point his penis down.  Poop was also a big barrier, and it almost made me want to can the training on Day 2.  But we got over it, and now he’s back to pooping twice a day in the pot.  We’ve also adventured outside and he’s used the public restroom a few times (which is HUGE since I hate hate hate public restrooms).  He’s also good about nap time and night time, so no diapers there.

I guess the biggest take away from this is that you should never under estimate the intelligence of your young tot.  I honestly didn’t think he would get it, that he wouldn’t be able to pull down his pants and all that jazz.  But on Day 3 we hit a turning point, and he just gets it.  He will stop whatever he is doing and announce he has to pee and races to his potty.  When I gave him underwear for the first time yesterday he looked at it and said, “No mommy.  No diaper.”  He’s a smarty!

I should have potty trained him earlier, before the baby cause it would have been a lot easier.  But at least I have the support of my family here to keep an eye out for him to make sure he’s successful at using the potty.  But honestly a lot of it has to do with the fact that my son is a lot smarter than I thought, and that is why this experience hasn’t been as terrible as I thought it would be.  Thank goodness!

Also, if you are wondering if there were any books or pieces of advice to share… just download the e-book Oh Crap. Potty Training.  There’s a lot of fluff, but when you get to the heart of the training it was really helpful and worked well for us.  And I see how proud my son is now that he is a big boy!

Postpartum Exercise

Posted in Mommy Life, Parenting by

10_weeks_post_partumSo I have started exercising (when I can) again.  I managed to get to my prepregnancy weight before I got pregnant again (it took a year to shed the weight!).  But I also managed to gain ~35 lbs. this last pregnancy!  Now it’s the daunting task of losing that weight again.  I am finding it is not quite as easy to shed as the first time around, even though I am exclusively breastfeeding.  I guess it’s just something about the second kid?

I know a lot of mom’s out there find it difficult to get exercise in when you are wrangling a child, let alone two.  I’m beginning to find it more difficult with two.  Last week I didn’t work out at all cause my son was sick all week!  How can a busy mom get a work out in with kids?

1.  Gyms with childcare

Many gyms offer child care for a small fee.  You can get your spin class in while your kid is looked after by professional child care staff.

2.  Mommy and Baby Exercise Classes

A quick Yelp search in your area may yield a lot of surprising exercise with baby options for you and your little one.  From bootcamp to yoga, you’ll be able to get a work out in while your little one is by your side.  This is especially beneficial for parents who want to save money on the child care aspect.  My personal favorite is Baby Bootcamp.

3.  Meetup!

Look or create a meetup to do some exercise you enjoy!  Whether it’s to find parents out there to go on a run with your baby in a jogging stroller or doing tai chi with baby, you’ll be able to find it or create it.  You’d be surprised what you can find on meetup.

4.  YouTube & Netflix

Many of us are just too busy juggling work and family that exercising during normal hours is just impossible.  You probably don’t want to wake up to do a 6AM work out if your baby isn’t quite sleeping through the night, sometimes the Kid’s Club hours at the gym aren’t very convenient, or your family is simply on a very tight budget.  When your kids are sleeping, you can always scour YouTube and Netflix for some exercise videos.  YouTube has Jillian Michaels workouts availabe for free.

The long and short of it is that exercising with a new baby may be difficult, but it is doable.  It takes a bit of creativity and time to get back to your prepregnancy self, but you can do it!  Don’t be discouraged!

Greetings From the White House

Posted in Parenting by

IMG_4412

My daughter received her letter from the White House the other day.  It’s something to add to her baby book so that she can look at it later in life, and hopefully think it’s super cool.  We did the same for my son two year’s ago when he was born.

So how do you get a nice note from the President and the First Lady?  You send a birth announcement to the White House Greetings Office.  Here’s their address:

The White House
Greetings Office Rm 39
1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW
Washington, DC 20500

There are a few catches though.  Your child needs to be a US Citizen.  And the request needs to be made within 12 months of their birth.

Hopefully you can get your little ones a little keepsake from the White House for their baby books too!

Measles Outbreak

Posted in Mommy Life, Parenting by

With more and more measles cases being reported, I am incredibly anxious about leaving the house with my two month old infant.  She is too young to be vaccinated against measles, leaving her vulnerable to this preventable disease that we are surrounded by.  We had a near miss with measles exposure, making this outbreak far too real and terrifying for me.

I know all parents have the best interest of their children in mind, and one of the biggest decisions we are first faced with as a parent is whether or not we are going to vaccinate.  It is clear that science says vaccines are safe with no link to causing autism.  Even allergic reactions to vaccines are incredibly rare.  And yet many still choose not to for whatever reason.

My husband and I vaccinate.  It is hard for us to ignore the numbers when weighed with the risks.  But most importantly we want to protect our children, and others who are vulnerable, from these deadly diseases.  I in good conscious cannot allow my children (walking incubators) to contract preventable diseases and spread them to others, especially infants like my daughter, the elderly, pregnant women, people who are allergic to components of vaccines, immunocompromised individuals, etc.  Even if my child is strong enough to survive the measles, the child next to her may not be as lucky–and that I cannot allow.  It is really a crap shoot who the disease will take.

And with that I leave you with a letter written by Roald Dahl (author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Matilda) who wants all parents to vaccinate.

Olivia, my eldest daughter, caught measles when she was seven years old. As the illness took its usual course I can remember reading to her often in bed and not feeling particularly alarmed about it. Then one morning, when she was well on the road to recovery, I was sitting on her bed showing her how to fashion little animals out of coloured pipe-cleaners, and when it came to her turn to make one herself, I noticed that her fingers and her mind were not working together and she couldn’t do anything.

“Are you feeling all right?” I asked her.

“I feel all sleepy,” she said.

In an hour, she was unconscious. In twelve hours she was dead.

The measles had turned into a terrible thing called measles encephalitis and there was nothing the doctors could do to save her. That was twenty-four years ago in 1962, but even now, if a child with measles happens to develop the same deadly reaction from measles as Olivia did, there would still be nothing the doctors could do to help her.

On the other hand, there is today something that parents can do to make sure that this sort of tragedy does not happen to a child of theirs. They can insist that their child is immunised against measles. I was unable to do that for Olivia in 1962 because in those days a reliable measles vaccine had not been discovered. Today a good and safe vaccine is available to every family and all you have to do is to ask your doctor to administer it.

It is not yet generally accepted that measles can be a dangerous illness. Believe me, it is. In my opinion parents who now refuse to have their children immunised are putting the lives of those children at risk. In America, where measles immunisation is compulsory, measles like smallpox, has been virtually wiped out.

Here in Britain, because so many parents refuse, either out of obstinacy or ignorance or fear, to allow their children to be immunised, we still have a hundred thousand cases of measles every year. Out of those, more than 10,000 will suffer side effects of one kind or another. At least 10,000 will develop ear or chest infections. About 20 will die.

LET THAT SINK IN.

Every year around 20 children will die in Britain from measles.

So what about the risks that your children will run from being immunised?

They are almost non-existent. Listen to this. In a district of around 300,000 people, there will be only one child every 250 years who will develop serious side effects from measles immunisation! That is about a million to one chance. I should think there would be more chance of your child choking to death on a chocolate bar than of becoming seriously ill from a measles immunisation.

So what on earth are you worrying about? It really is almost a crime to allow your child to go unimmunised.

The ideal time to have it done is at 13 months, but it is never too late. All school-children who have not yet had a measles immunisation should beg their parents to arrange for them to have one as soon as possible.

Incidentally, I dedicated two of my books to Olivia, the first was ‘James and the Giant Peach’. That was when she was still alive. The second was ‘The BFG’, dedicated to her memory after she had died from measles. You will see her name at the beginning of each of these books. And I know how happy she would be if only she could know that her death had helped to save a good deal of illness and death among other children.

Cloth Diapering

Posted in Baby Stuff by

cloth_diapersSo my family cloth diapers.  Though it may appear granola, we actually do it to save money.  While many will argue that cloth diapering saves our environment, in practice it doesn’t according to this Stanford article.  And this is what I have argued with many people about, which is weird since we cloth diaper.  Basically, the water and energy used to produce and wash cloth diapers is basically equal to their disposable counterparts.  So if you really want to save the environment, you should look into compostable diapers (which are way more expensive than disposables).

Anyhoo, we cloth diaper to save money.  How you may ask?  So here’s the breakdown of how we are saving money.

Cloth Diapering
Cloth diapers – 3 packs of 6 x $11.99 = $35.97
Diaper Covers – 5 x $12.75 = $63.75
Cloth diaper fastener – 1 pack x $11.25
Total = $110.97*

This gives you enough diapers where you do laundry every 2-3 days.

For our newborn, we go through about 50-70 diapers in a week.  Yes, you wouldn’t go through as many diapers if you were using disposables because they are more absorbent so you wouldn’t change the baby as often.  So let’s say if you were using disposables you would be on the low end of usage, so 50.  Pampers Swaddlers are $45.99 for a pack of 216.  This breaks down to $0.21 a diaper, or $10.50 a week.  So by the time our baby is 11 weeks old, we’ve already made our return on the cloth diapers (which should last until the baby is 15 lbs, which our son reached at 6 months old).  This is also the second time we’re using the cloth diapers.  So let’s say we get 12 months usage out of the cloth diapers since we are using them with both kids.  There are 52 weeks in a year.  And say we average about 60 diapers a week, which means we go through 3,120 diapers during that 12 months.  That breaks down to $.04 a diaper!!!  And it will only go down more if we use it with another child.  On top of that, we can recoup some of our costs by reselling the diapers (yes, there’s a market for cloth diapers out there!).  So you see, we are trying to save money here.

These are enough diapers to last 2-3 days between washes.  You can add more or less depending on how often you are willing to do laundry, and that will change how much you spend per diaper.  And honestly, it’s not as difficult as it appears, especially a breastfed baby.  Because breastmilk is water soluble, poops will go away in the wash.  We also don’t put the diapers in the dryer (although a friend of mine does), which adds a bit more work.  But we just let them sit out in the sun to bleach out the poop stains, that do in fact go away at the end of the day.  But it’s just another small load of laundry.  My friend (who is a working parent) puts the diapers on before bed, and then puts them in the dryer before she goes to work so that they are done when she comes home.

But I realize that for many parents out there, it’s not compatible with your lifestyle.  We are all busy and sometimes disposable diapers are the answer (we still use them here and there).  There are fancier diapers that have less moving parts, like all-in-ones that mimic disposables in that you just take the entire diaper and put in the bin for the wash.  So really if you are willing to do laundry to save money, then you should look into cloth diapers.  But don’t feel bad if you need to use disposables (like I said, we still use them here and there).

*I’m not including water and electricity in the total as they end up looking negligible on our monthly bills.

New Year’s Resolutions 2015: A Parent’s Perspective

Posted in Parenting by

I know for many parents out there your top priority for the New Year is to maximize as much quality time with your child(ren).  As parents we have an intricate juggling act that consists of work, household chores, parenting, and, when time permits, ME time.  While ME time is the most neglected, parents are always torn about parenting and quality time with their children–no matter how much we give, we never feel like it is enough.  We do what we can and hope it doesn’t set up our kids for a lifetime of adult therapy.

As a stay at home mom, I have to decide whether or not to go to the park or run errands.  There are just some days you aren’t going to leave the house.  And now that I have to corral two, I try not to run errands when the eldest is home so as to maximize my time with him.  I know they say it’s good to take your kid out to the grocery store so they can learn about food, colors, reading, counting, etc.  But when your oldest is in preschool part of the week, you don’t want to spend the time he is with you running errands.  How much fun is that?  Fortunately, living in the Bay Area has given me an opportunity to keep up the juggling act with the help of a few startups and beta services.  Here is a list of apps and services that have made my life a little less stressful so that I can spend time playing.

Instacart

Most major grocery store chains offer delivery, like Safeway.  But often times this takes far in advance planning since most same-day delivery slots are almost always booked–sometimes you realize you need milk now instead of tomorrow between 2pm and 5pm.  Step in Instacart.

Instacart offers grocery delivery in an hour!  That’s right, in an hour for just $5.99 (when your purchase is >$35).  You have a personal shopper out there who goes to popular grocery stores, like Safeway, Whole Foods, and even Costco, to buy the products you need.  You can order using their app (on both iOS and Android) or online using your computer.  You just shop online for what you need, put in your credit card information, and then in an hour your groceries arrive (it usually arrives a lot sooner than what they tell you too).

What’s really great about the service is there’s still humans involved.  What do you mean?  If you ever dealt with Safeway, they will replace any item they don’t have in stock.  Yes, both Safeway and Instacart have a way for the customer to dictate if they want items replaced or not or with what specific item.  But it’s nice getting a phone call from your personal shopper alerting you about an item not in stock and wanting to double check with you if said replacement is sufficient.  It really is like having your own personal shopper.  I personally like that touch.

You are probably thinking, “This sounds great, but you live in San Francisco and it’s probably not in my city.”  Guess wrong!  The service is available in many US cities, including Seattle, Denver, Austin, and DC!!!  Go try it out; your first delivery is free!

Amazon Fresh

Amazon Fresh is another grocery shopping service that offers same-day or next day delivery.  What’s great about the service is that you’re able to buy goods from niche shops, say a butcher in a certain neighborhood instead of going to the grocery store chain and their lesser quality cuts.  So if you are into that kind of grocery shopping, then Amazon Fresh is your thing.  However, the $299/year membership is a bit steep for many.  It’s also not widely available like Instacart is.

Google Shopping Express

IMG_3876.JPGIf there’s one service I probably can’t live without, it’s Google Shopping Express.  They offer you same-day delivery from actual stores (e.g., not grocery stores).  Hello Target!  I mean I do love shopping at Target, but again life gets in the way of going to this destination.  Your loofa just broke?  Google Shopping Express to the rescue.  Not only do they deliver products from Target, you can get toys from Toys R Us or even sporting goods from REI (at least in the Bay Area).  They do some food delivery from grocery stores like Whole Foods, but it’s the non-perishable kind.  It’s also available in a few major cities, like LA and DC.  You can easily go shopping on your computer or their iOS and Android app (which I tend to do in the middle of night, whilst breastfeeding after I’ve browsed Etsy).

Amazon Mom

Amazon Mom is similar to Amazon’s Subscribe & Save service for Prime members.  It’s $99 per year to be an Amazon Mom, although you don’t need to be a mom (I’ve read people make up baby birthdays).  Items you buy often, like diapers and baby food or pasta, are set on a schedule to be delivered every month or every other month.  If you have 5 or more items being delivered that month you save 20% on all the items.  It’s great to not think about these things you buy often.  Amazon will also e-mail you to remind you that you’ll be getting a shipment soon in case you want to make changes to your order (say, ordering the next size up diapers).  If you order from Amazon often, you should totally do Amazon Mom.  Diapers are definitely a lot cheaper through Amazon versus regular priced diapers at Target.

Christmas Presents

Posted in Baby Stuff by

Christmas is just 4 days away, so this post may be late for almost everyone.  But here’s a tip for parents out there regarding Christmas presents.

If you are anything like our family, your kid probably has A LOT of toys.  We certainly don’t have room in our house for said toys.  And even if we did, you know that most toys collect dust because there are other toys they are obsessed with.  Plus you don’t want to deal with the clean up, especially toys with lots of parts (but that’s another post).  The problem with Christmas presents (and presents in general) is that people will buy your kid so many toys you/they don’t know what to do with.  You may get a book or two (which we love), but you still get toys!!!  And then you have to deal with the hoopla around the hottest Christmas toy.  No thank you.

This is Oliver’s third Christmas, and his second where we (think) he knows what’s going on.  Instead of letting our families go crazy on the toys, we suggest that they buy us memberships to museums and the zoo.  Why?  These are places we frequent, especially on rainy days.  For example, the zoo costs us $14 a person each visit.  A family membership is $115 for the year.  If I go with my kids, I only have to go 8 times before we recoup of the cost of the membership (4 times if my husband goes too).  If you know you are going to go that many times in a year, you should definitely get a membership.  Why not have family gift it to your family?  My son loves the zoo and we go once a month.  He gets to run around, learn about animals, and we don’t have toys cluttering up our house.  Same thing goes for museums and aquariums.  These provide great rainy day back ups so you aren’t cooped up inside your house.  For example, the California Academy of Science cost $30 each visit or you can get a membership for $99.  No brainer really.  Have someone gift the membership to your family.  It’s more valuable and educational than a piece of plastic.

In the Weeds

Posted in Mommy Life by

Last week was my first official full week on my own with the kids.  Monday wasn’t so bad because I had my mom’s of 2 group, and my husband worked from home to watch Oliver while me and Sammy were away.  Tuesday evening is when I suddenly found myself in the weeds.

Tuesday evening was my first time picking up Oliver from preschool on my own with newborn in tow.  The baby was relatively calm, although she would have been happier at home instead of in her carseat.  We arrived at the preschool, and Oliver’s classmates and one of the teachers cooed over her while I signed the check-out book.  The other teacher then pulled me aside to tell me that Oliver had pink eye.  GREAT!  Not only does he have a highly contagious disease, he’s not allowed to participate in his winter fiesta tomorrow.  We make it home and the rest of the night was spent cleaning Oliver’s eye, disinfecting the home, and keeping him away from the baby (it was a lot harder than it sounds because he loves helping out with the baby).

Wednesday the three of us were stuck at home and it was raining.  Most of my time was trying to stop Oliver from touching the baby and disinfecting the house.  His eye wasn’t gunky anymore, but it was still pink.  During that time there were points where I wanted to cry (naturally).

Thursday Oliver’s pink eye was gone, but then Sammy’s eye was pink.  GREAT!  Called the pedi, and they told us that it was more likely a clogged tear duct.  They said to come in if we wipe gunk out of her eye more than 3 times an hour or if it doesn’t clear up in three days.  Again it was raining, so we were stuck in the house.  But to top it all off, I was now sick–congested, coughing, and a runny nose.  SUPER GREAT!

Friday I lost my voice on top of feeling incredibly terrible.  I had a baby who was probably suffering from a clogged tear duct and a Wonder Week.  Oliver still had his cold.  Did I mention I didn’t feel well?

The weekend I began to feel better, although not 100%.  I’m still not 100% now.  But boy was I in the weeds last week.  In between the tears you just need to recite the mantra, “This too shall pass.”