When It Rains…

…it pours.  That’s the saying, and it can feel like that as a parent.  Take my Thanksgiving Weekend for example.

On Tuesday, my son stayed home from preschool because he threw up twice before we could get him out the door for school.  He even threw up in our bed, and I had to put our sheets in through the wash twice just to get all that milky vomit out.  Sorry, TMI.

Later that afternoon, I left him at home with my parents so I could take my daughter to her regularly scheduled Gymboree class.  She was just fussy the entire time and was not into anything, including bubbles.  Now that made me raise an eyebrow.  We got home and I tried to give her lunch, but she was not having it.  She was still feeling really hot (it is usually really hot at Gymboree), so I took her temperature and it was 104!  So I gave her Tylenol and let her cuddle and eat/drink anything she wanted.

The next day my son was fine.  I think my husband gave him rotten milk.  So my son went to school and I was left to tend to my still feverish daughter.  More Tylenol, but at least she was eating a little bit and would play a little.

On Thanksgiving she still had a low fever, but she was just clearly not herself.  Usually she is very happy in the mornings, and when she was sick she would still try to communicate she didn’t want anything.  But that morning she was a bit lethargic.  So we called the pediatrician and they saw her that morning.  Turns out that she had an ear infection–her first.  An escript was sent to our local pharmacy, picked it up, and made it back home all before lunch and in time to start cooking the side dishes for Thanksgiving dinner.

Friday she was feeling fine, but we still kept her home just because.  Saturday she started developing a rash on her head, but I thought it was probably the new headbands that I bought her.  I had her try them on before I washed them.  So I thought that perhaps it irritated her skin.  Or maybe it was a heat rash from her wooly hat I made her wear when she went outside for a walk even though it was pretty warm outside.  When she woke up from her afternoon nap the rash then spread all over her body.  So I called the pediatrician’s office.  The doctor told us to stop her antibiotics and to call Sunday when the office opens so they can see her that day.

Sunday morning the rash was all over her body, so we called the pediatrician and again were seen that morning.  I was worried that she may have a penicillin allergy like me, but the pediatrician said it looked more like a viral rash.  But the good news was that her ear infection was gone.

So it was a pretty hectic long weekend for us.  But I am so grateful that our pediatric practice offers emergency hours on holidays and weekends.  We could have easily gone to the emergency room or an urgent care facility.  And while these facilities are great, most urgent care facilities don’t know much about pediatrics (our lone experience, they sent us to an ER for just a run of the mill viral infection).  We also aren’t exposing my daughter to really sick adults and tying up an ER for something that’s not an emergency, like an ear infection.  Plus it was nice seeing a pediatrician we were familiar with, and who had notes about her (we were in the office the previous week for her one year appointment, and the doctor noted that she had fluid in her ear but it wasn’t infected, and that’s the ear that later got infected).

I hope everyone had a very good Thanksgiving this year!

And I promise I’ll post about my daughter’s first birthday party soon!  I started it, but then life happened.

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The 5th Leap

IMG_4295We are in the midst of a Wonder Week, and while it isn’t so bad as when Oliver went through his, it leaves me really tired. On top of that there’s just the daily duties like laundry to do. Baby wearing is helpful for a lot of parents out there. While I don’t mind wearing Sammy, she does not sleep if there’s a lot of bending over, like picking up toys.

I felt bad wearing her and eating because she would be covered in crumbs. But now that she is bigger, she can fit in the Ergo. So I use the hood to cover her while I eat. Haha, but seriously it works!  When she was smaller I used the Boba wrap and a Maya ring sling, which definitely did not have anything to protect her pretty head from crumbs!

IMG_4291Other times, she only falls asleep when I hold her.  And then I am held hostage and only hope that the remote control to the TV and my fully charged iPhone are within arms length.  Any unnecessary movement will wake up Sammy, and then all bets are off.

Our night sleeps have now gone from 7-8 hours to 5 hours, which is nothing to complain about compared to others.  But when you are used to a good stretch of sleep, it throws you for a loop.  If you haven’t invested in coffee stock, you should totally look into it cause that’s what gets me through the mornings.

Ahhh, the mommy life.  One day it will get better, I know it.

P.S.  Did I mention we are moving across the country next month?  No packing being done by this mama!!!

32 Weeks!

new_cribOMG!  8 weeks left and I feel so ill prepared for this new baby.  I think with Oliver I already had his nursery decorated.  We at least have the crib set up and the mattress.  But I guess I should take off the plastic from the mattress and maybe put the fitted sheet and crib skirt on.  I still need to wash the few new baby outfits my parents and in-laws bought.  I also need to go through my son’s old clothes and sort those away.  There’s just so much to do and I’m just so tired and unmotivated to do any of it.  So different from the first.

The Little Things

Everyone knows that being a stay at home parent is tough.  It is often a thankless job that has horrible pay and little to no vacation.  If anyone ever had a job with these benefits they would immediately start looking for a new one.! My first job out of college I worked 60+ hours a week, rarely got any appreciation from my clients let alone my supervisors, got depressed if I calculated my salary to an hourly rate, but at least I got ok, flexible vacation.  Fast forward to today, and now I think that job was a cake walk!!!  I know that I’m not the first (and certainly not the last) to write/complain/vent about my choice to stay at home, but I’m going to anyway.

The last two weeks or so has been super hard on me.  On top of a demanding 2 year old, I’ve been having severe pubic bone pain and sometimes your normal back pain.  If you’ve never had pubic bone pain while pregnant (lucky you!) or don’t know what I’m talking about you can read about it here.  I’ve gotten a maternity belt to help, but at the end of the day I’m always in pain.  And to top it all off, my husband had friends visiting from London and Australia.  Ordinarily I wouldn’t care and would actually encourage him to have fun with the boys, but like I said it has been hard caring for Oliver.  My husband would usually do the night time bath and put him to sleep, which is super helpful because it’s hard for me to hunch over the bath and lift him, etc.  But having to do that for most of the week took it’s toll on me, and of course no ounce of gratitude from my husband who strolled in at 2am most nights.

So last night I was feeling a bit down because again I was left with night duties (husband had his normal Thursday night soccer game) and Oliver was just extra cranky/terrible twos.  But when we were in his room he wanted to cuddle.  That hasn’t happened in ages.  It’s normally peace out mom when all mom wants is an extra second of cuddles at drop off for preschool or randomly during the day.  But we cuddled and suddenly he was asleep on my shoulder.  This hasn’t happened in at least a year (maybe more?)!!!  If I didn’t have to pee so badly I would have relished that moment for an extra 5 minutes (who knows, probably all night).  It was such a sweet moment; one that I really needed.  I needed that reminder of why I stay at home; to have these moments where my son can be extra affectionate and seeks comfort from me.  I needed that moment because these moments will happen less frequently and then one day will just completely stop–he’ll stop asking for cuddles, he won’t give you kisses on demand, he won’t randomly tell you, “I love you” every hour.  So no matter how hard and tired and annoyed I get, I have to remember that it is all worth it in the end for these small jewels–these sweet moments.

Paternity Leave?

There’s a lot of controversy about the lack of maternity leave here in the US, let alone paternity leave.  But I wanted to chime in on my thoughts regarding paternity leave after a few radio hosts criticized Met’s baseball player Daniel Murphy.

I hear what the radio hosts are saying.  Men are unable to breastfeed.  Men aren’t physically pushing the child out.  Their roles, especially with this growing family, is to be the provider.  And that means going to work and earning money.  Fair enough.

But I believe that a lot of bonding happens at birth.  The new baby has finally entered the world and is experiencing all these new senses, of which is seeing, smelling, and touching.  It is a scary time for a baby who is suddenly in a new world, and it is looking to the parents as they explore these senses.  Many studies suggest that skin to skin contact is important for both mother and child in those early hours.  But I also want to add that I think it’s important for dad’s too!  This is such a special moment for both parents and new child, that missing it means they can never get that moment back.

Boomer Esiason’s comments most angered me.  He speaks as if Murphy’s livelihood is at stake; that if he doesn’t show up to Opening Day, his family will become homeless and starve.  It is a slap in the face to the men who are living pay check to pay check, and really do face this incredible dilemma when they have a child:  do I miss the birth of my child and miss a day’s worth of pay that means I can pay help the rent or buy food?  I’m sure Murphy has saved and invested his earnings from baseball.  And I’m sure missing a day or two of baseball will not end his career let alone cause this catastrophic downfall to the poor house.  Murphy is of the small privilege class who is able to take paternity leave, and receive no financial consequence (only negative local media).

This just speaks to our culture and our views of fathers in the lives of their children.  Is this why we see many deadbeat dads?  Is this why many mothers feel incredibly stress after a child, especially if they suffer from post-partum depression?  We as a country need to start valuing the roles of fathers, from day 1.  Not from the point when a dad needs to begin disciplining the child or when the child becomes less dependent on the mother.  A family is a two parent household, and involves more than just bringing home a pay check.  Fathers are important too, and it’s time that we need to make sure they know that.

Pregnancy Woes

So I’m about 6 weeks pregnant, which is nothing to write home about.  The risk of miscarriage is still pretty high, which is why we haven’t told any of our friends and family about it.  I have noticed subtle differences from my first and this one.  Most notably I feel as though I’m not as crazy as I was with my first.  I remember consulting the Mayo Clinic’s Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy every other day because there were times I didn’t feel pregnant or had weird feelings I was unsure about.  There are times where I do feel as though I may not be pregnant, but they are few and far between.  I think it’s mostly cause I’m battling terrible allergies whilst chasing around Baby Monster.  The book is still very helpful, even the second time around.  There’s a lot you forget about pregnancy, perhaps your mind telling you that you can have another one.  But as of right now, it’s not as terrible as the first.

I’m Not the Nanny

baby_monster_frogWe’ve lived in SF for over a year now, and it is not uncommon to find more nannies than parents out on the playground.  And this makes sense here in SF because the cost of living sometimes means that you need two incomes.  By no means are nannies or daycares or preschools are cheap, but it isn’t worth giving up that second income because you can’t really live.

We are fortunate enough that we can live on one income.  We might not be able to travel like we used to or enjoy nice expensive meals (and sometimes not save as much as we used to), but we are able to make it work in an incredibly expensive city.

Stay at home mom’s feels like a rare breed here in SF.  I do meet moms and dads on the playground, but more often than not they are able to work from home for at least part of the week/day.  I’d like to believe that I get mistaken as the nanny because it is rare to find a stay at home mom.  But I’m sure my race and looks also lead people to believe I’m the nanny.  By looks, I mean people mistake me for a teenager sometimes.  I always get carded for alcohol, and I still sometimes get carded for a rated R movie (especially if I don’t wear makeup).  Maybe one day when I’m out with Baby Monster people will think I’m the mother.