The Little Things

Everyone knows that being a stay at home parent is tough.  It is often a thankless job that has horrible pay and little to no vacation.  If anyone ever had a job with these benefits they would immediately start looking for a new one.! My first job out of college I worked 60+ hours a week, rarely got any appreciation from my clients let alone my supervisors, got depressed if I calculated my salary to an hourly rate, but at least I got ok, flexible vacation.  Fast forward to today, and now I think that job was a cake walk!!!  I know that I’m not the first (and certainly not the last) to write/complain/vent about my choice to stay at home, but I’m going to anyway.

The last two weeks or so has been super hard on me.  On top of a demanding 2 year old, I’ve been having severe pubic bone pain and sometimes your normal back pain.  If you’ve never had pubic bone pain while pregnant (lucky you!) or don’t know what I’m talking about you can read about it here.  I’ve gotten a maternity belt to help, but at the end of the day I’m always in pain.  And to top it all off, my husband had friends visiting from London and Australia.  Ordinarily I wouldn’t care and would actually encourage him to have fun with the boys, but like I said it has been hard caring for Oliver.  My husband would usually do the night time bath and put him to sleep, which is super helpful because it’s hard for me to hunch over the bath and lift him, etc.  But having to do that for most of the week took it’s toll on me, and of course no ounce of gratitude from my husband who strolled in at 2am most nights.

So last night I was feeling a bit down because again I was left with night duties (husband had his normal Thursday night soccer game) and Oliver was just extra cranky/terrible twos.  But when we were in his room he wanted to cuddle.  That hasn’t happened in ages.  It’s normally peace out mom when all mom wants is an extra second of cuddles at drop off for preschool or randomly during the day.  But we cuddled and suddenly he was asleep on my shoulder.  This hasn’t happened in at least a year (maybe more?)!!!  If I didn’t have to pee so badly I would have relished that moment for an extra 5 minutes (who knows, probably all night).  It was such a sweet moment; one that I really needed.  I needed that reminder of why I stay at home; to have these moments where my son can be extra affectionate and seeks comfort from me.  I needed that moment because these moments will happen less frequently and then one day will just completely stop–he’ll stop asking for cuddles, he won’t give you kisses on demand, he won’t randomly tell you, “I love you” every hour.  So no matter how hard and tired and annoyed I get, I have to remember that it is all worth it in the end for these small jewels–these sweet moments.

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