As expected, my due date came and went. With my first I was 4 days over due, and right now I’m still in that range. I remember being very impatient, excited, and anxious about my due date. “When will he get here?” “I can’t wait to meet him!” I recall the waiting incredibly exciting that we are about to have a little baby. Who wouldn’t be excited?!
This time around it is slightly different. At 37 weeks my OB asked if I wanted my membranes swept to help get the labor process started in the right direction. If I were a first time mom I would have said, “Hells yes!” Guess what I told the OB? I told her I wanted to wait until the next week because my parents would be in town and it would be a lot easier if they were in town if I did happen to go into labor soon after the sweep.
At my 38 week appointment my OB swept my membranes. Hoorah! No labor though. We also talked about the possibility of induction. She wanted to schedule it a few days after 41 weeks, which is great for anyone who wants to achieve a VBAC. It gives you an opportunity to go into labor on your own, which increases your chances of a successful VBAC. Instead of being happy and agreeing, I asked if it would be possible to do it earlier. Why? Because I need my parents to be here so that they can watch my son while my husband and I are in the hospital.
So ideally at this point (only a day past my due date) I would love to go into labor now. But at the same time, am I ready for my family’s world to be turned upside down? There’s just so much more anxiety this go around, mostly surrounding the adjustment to everything by everyone. Most especially for my son. Even though I try very hard to teach him that the world doesn’t revolve around him, with regards to adding a sibling I’m bending over backwards to make sure this transition for him goes over smoothly (or as smoothly as possible). So. Much. Anxiety.
Today was the start of my second time mom’s group. Half of us were still pregnant with our second and the other half had their brand new babies in their arms, sleeping or nursing. They were all very cute and tiny. And for the most part the mom’s looked fine and were surviving, despite having the same anxieties I do. But I still joked around saying, “Is it too late to change my mind?” I see examples all the time that having 2 is possible; that one day you’ll be able to sleep again and have 2 fine children. It’s still terrifying.
So for now I’m enjoying the status quo. Even though my son has a slight fever, I’m enjoying the routine, the snuggles, and my ability to give him all the attention he needs. Because I know that any moment now things will be turned upside down for everyone. You know what they say: hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.