So I went in for my first OB appointment for this pregnancy.  I know it is very very late, even my doctor said so.  But scheduling prevented us from seeing her the previous week; trust me, I want to go in as soon as possible.  Everything was normal, and I’m actually 9 weeks 4 days instead of 9 weeks (which they based on my last period).  I didn’t hear the heartbeat, but that’s because she said it was too early (which I remember happening with my first too).

This pregnancy is different than my first for so many reasons.  I guess the good and bad thing is I have an incredibly active and happy 19 month old.  It’s bad because I feel like I’m neglecting him in a small way because I feel so incredibly exhausted and nauseous.  If I had a choice, I would lay on the couch or bed all day.  But it’s good that my son makes me get up and attack the world, albeit at 75% some days.  I’m not sure if it is him or this pregnancy in general, but I don’t feel as nauseous as when I was pregnant with him.  There are some days where smells overwhelm me, but not as often or as horribly when I was pregnant with him.  But it makes me wonder if I am actually pregnant sometimes or if I’m about to miscarry because I don’t feel pregnant like I was before.  I can’t tell if my son distracts me from my pregnancy woes or if this pregnancy is just different or maybe this pregnancy isn’t to be?  Who knows.

Another huge difference is I don’t feel quite as excited (maybe emotional) as I did with the first.  I think I’m more concerned about how to balance life with two kids around, which parts of me feels like I’m neglecting this new child because there’s no excitement surrounding their impending growth and arrival.  And perhaps the excitement isn’t there because my husband didn’t come with me to the first appointment.  He worked from home while he watched our son, so I was at the office on my own.  We could have gotten a babysitter or brought the kid with us, but we decided against it.  If there was any excitement to be had, I had no one to share it with (even though I do like my OB, it would be really awkward getting super excited with her).

We haven’t told anyone about the pregnancy, although I have a feeling a few of our friends are surmising the possibility that I am with child.  I did tell a good friend from back home and my brother, and both are incredibly excited.  Then we tell my parents Saturday morning.  I go back to the doctor again in two weeks, we check the new baby progress, and hopefully around May we can let the cat out of the bag.  Until then, mum is still the word since the likelihood of a miscarriage is still high.