Wonder Weeks

Posted in Baby Stuff, Parenting by

We are a generation that tends to read and learn in preparation for anything, and being a first time parent is no exception to that rule.  I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that families (in the Western World at least) are more nuclear families, either by choice or because of other circumstances like work (which is our case).  And because of that child rearing isn’t learned through extended family members.  Thank goodness for the internet and books!

A few of our friends are pregnant with their first child, and I have been asked for recommendations for their respective baby registries.  The one book that both my husband and I give a ringing endorsement for and highly recommend they put on their registry  is The Wonder Weeks.  It is written by two Dutch psychologists and the book is based on psychological research (that has been empirically tested; SCIENCE!).

Why we love this book above all others?  It’s based on science, it isn’t patronizing, and, for the most part, spot on regarding our son’s mental development.  I think my husband loves it more because it also provides activities parents can do with their child to help them through each developmental leap.

The book was recommended to us by other friends, and now we are paying it forward to future parents out there.  Go get it!  You can get the app, which is a great succinct version of the book.  But if you want to be completely thorough I highly suggest you order the book from Amazon.  You don’t have to read the book in one go either.  You can just read the chapter when your kid is about to enter their next developmental leap.  And if you sign up for their e-mail alerts, they will e-mail you a week before they are entering a leap to remind you to read up.

Infant Flying Tips

Posted in Travel by

 

Oliver_beachBaby Monster is a traveler like his parents, taking his first trip to Puerto Rico at the tender age of 2.5 months.  My husband and I were invited to a good friend’s wedding in Puerto Rico way before Baby Monster was conceived.  We went back and forth whether or not to go to the wedding with a newborn.  In the end, we bit the bullet and booked everything.  Our decision to go was made easier because my mom and brother came too (to enjoy Puerto Rico and help with the baby).

It sounds overwhelming to travel with a new human being, especially flying.  Baby Monster is now 18 months, and we’ve flown to Europe twice, across the country almost a handful of times, Puerto Rico, and to Seattle.  Of those times, Baby Monster and I (meaning without husband) have flown together twice.  It’s scary, but doable.  I still freak out and I swear I won’t fly by myself again, but we do it.  I always get told by other passengers that my son is very well behaved, meanwhile I think he was a hellion.  Anyhoo, here are some tips (other than packing lightly) to the parents out there that are freaking out about flying with an infant.  These things worked for our family, and hopefully you may find them helpful for yours.

1.  Book flights on Wednesday or Saturday

Why Wednesday or Saturday?  They tend to be the least busiest, meaning more empty seats!  Business travelers tend to fly Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays.  And your young friends tend to fly on Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays, sometimes Mondays if it’s a long weekend.  So yes, Wednesdays and Saturdays (for the most part) are not quite as busy (although I think in summer all bets are off).  A full flight is the worse with a baby!

2.  Book the aisle (and window if you can)

Most planes now have rows of three.  If you fly by yourself with your infant, book the aisle.  You get quick access to the bathroom for the diaper changes.  And if your infant is a crawler, he can crawl in the aisle.  If your partner is flying with you, book that window seat!  The last seat fellow travelers will want is that dreaded middle seat.  So unless your flight is fully booked, the likelihood of having a free row increases when you book aisle and window.  If there is someone who ends up getting stuck in the middle, they will happily exchange for the window seat so you and your partner can sit together.

Some planes, especially international flights, offer a bassinet if you sit at the bulkheads.  Don’t book these when you buy your tickets because they charge extra (unless you want to of course).  When you are at the desk getting your bags checked, ask if the bulkheads are available.  If they are, they can change your seats to the bulkhead free of charge (both United and Virgin Atlantic).  There are pros and cons to the bulkhead.  The pros are the bassinet is super super nice to have your baby nap in instead of your arms (the bassinet also has a harness to keep them strapped in there), and there’s more room at your feet so your little one can just play on the floor in front of you.  The cons are if your baby already rolls over in their sleep the bassinet is pretty useless, and you can’t keep your baby bag in front of you because bags need to go overhead.  So keep that in mind.  For shorter flights, I could live without the bulkhead.  For long flights (5+ hours), the bulkheads are probably best.

3.  Gate check your stroller and car seat

Many people don’t know this, but you can check your stroller and car seat free of charge when you are traveling with a baby (and children!).  Some people can live without the stroller and prefer a carrier, but we do both.  Sometimes we carried Baby Monster and used the stroller to push around our carry ons.  But most of the time Baby Monster likes to zip through the airport terminal in his stroller.  It definitely gets you to your gate faster.

You can also check your car seat at the desk when you do your check baggage.  You can buy a car seat bag (we use the Brica version) or use a garbage bag.  You want to cover your car seat to protect it from the elements and grime of plane travel.  But before you check your car seat, ask the desk people if your flight is fully booked.  If it’s not, and you happen to have an empty row (they really do try to keep rows with lap infants free) you can bring the car seat on the plane with you for free (if your car seat is FAA approved, and it should say so on the side or in your manual).  This is great when your baby is super young and they easily sleep in their car seat.  It becomes trickier when they are more active, e.g. start rolling, crawling, etc.  You have to put your car seat in the window seat, which is fine.  You can also do this with a convertible car seat, but it’s trickier (doable, but trickier).  Another pro tip is you can stick extra diapers or clothes in the car seat bag if you are checking the car seat in.

Why gate check vs. normal check?  The likelihood the airline/airport loses these essential items are minimized if you check them at the gate.  Airlines manage to lose luggage or forget to put luggage on a plane.  Can you imagine finding out you don’t have your car seat when you get to your destination?!  Also your stroller and car seat can easily get damaged from the 50 lb. bags that come shooting out of the baggage carousel.

4.  Bring enough food for the flight and more!

It’s actually not that difficult to fly if your baby is strictly on breast milk because their food supply will never run out.  If your baby is starting solids and you have formula to boot, it just involves extra planning.  You basically need a bottle for take off and a bottle for landing because the sucking helps the babe’s ears deal with the changing cabin pressure.  I also find it soothes them during a crazy (and loud) time during the flight.  You can also use a pacifier for times like these.  Try to keep your baby on the feeding schedule they are used to (home time zone of course).  And then plan for extra feedings or food if they get fussy in the middle of the flight.  And as a traveler you should know that delays happen (Baby Monster and I dealt with a 2 hour delay last week).  So you want to prepare for that as well.  You can never have enough food with you.  It’s a hassle to get it checked at TSA, but it’s worse when your child is hungry and you are in the air and they can’t eat the wine and cheese plate they are offering for $12.

5.  Bring light toys and books

I pack 2 or 3 of his smallest and lightest toys he enjoys.  I only take them out one at a time.  When he’s bored of one toy, we move on to the next.  This usually entertains him for most of the flight.  You don’t have to, but I also buy a small light toy or book he’s never seen before.  This usually entertains him twice as long because it’s new and exciting.  Save these toys and books for the flight.  Don’t pull them out before you board.

6.  Run around the terminal

Before you board your flight, let your baby explore the terminal especially if they are active!  They’ll have more room to move about and the terminal is just as exciting as any toy you brought along.  A lot of airports now how safe kid spaces for children to play in before you board.  Check to see if your airport offers one.  Even if your baby isn’t active, walk them around and point and talk about the new and exciting things they see.  The idea behind this is to exhaust and stimulate them that they will be sleepy by the time they get on the plane and you give them that bottle or nurse them at take off.

7.  Bring the infant carrier or Ergo

I know it may seem like over kill when you have a stroller and car seat to deal with, but you should bring it.  We use the Ergo when we go traveling, but bring whatever you are most comfortable with.  Traveling domestically in the US, you can have your baby in a carrier when you go through the metal detector.  For international flights you must carry your baby.  Having the carrier is super super helpful when going through security because it keeps your hands free.  Once TSA checks our boarding passes and IDs and we are about to hit the security bag check, I take Baby Monster out of the stroller and strap him in the Ergo.  I then have free hands to get my shoes off and put that in the bin, etc.  Depending on how quickly we need to get to the gate (or how comfortable he is), I keep him in the carrier and load up our stuff in the stroller.  When they make that announcement at your gate that boarding will begin in 5 minutes, I put him in the Ergo and put our hand carry in the stroller.  Again, you have your hands free to fold the stroller and set it aside by the plane, and again when you have to put your hand carry away.  We still use the Ergo at 18 months.  Do this–you won’t regret it!

I think those are all my pro-tips regarding air travel with a baby.  It’s doable.  I curse myself every time I have to travel by myself with Baby Monster, but I did it again.  And it’s so so so easy flying when they are really young.  Flying to Puerto Rico was by far the easiest flight we have ever taken with him.  It gets progressively harder as they get older and I hear it doesn’t get better until closer to 3.  But don’t let it  stop you from traveling because it is doable!  And remember the reward you get for traveling!!!

Banana Oatmeal Bites

Posted in Recipes by

 

banana_oatmeal_bitesIt has become abundantly clear that Baby Monster is incredibly picky about textures.  Right now he prefers crunchy, hard textures, and I’m not sure if this is more a symptom of teething or not.  Even though Daddy Monster is happy to give him toast at every meal, I am less inclined to do so.  I have been trying to come up with creative ways to give Baby Monster the texture he craves, but with the fruit and veg he needs to give himself a more well rounded diet.  So I introduced these banana oatmeal bites, and with great success for both Baby and Daddy Monsters.  They are super easy to make, they are great to give at breakfast or a snack on the go; you can even put them in the freezer and save them for later!

Ingredients
1 large ripe banana
~1/2 cup of oatmeal
1-2 tbs. of dried fruit, like raisins or craisins (optional)*
Non-stick spray

Directions
Preheat your oven to 350°F.  Take a cookie sheet and spray some non-stick spray.

In a bowl, mash up your ripe banana.  Mix in your dried fruit (I chose craisins because we are a craisin family) then set aside.  This part is totally optional depending on you and your baby, but you can put your oatmeal in the food processor to grind your oatmeal a bit finer (but not enough to turn it into powder).  I ran mine through the food processor for a minute or two to make the oats a bit smaller for the baby.  Add your oats in with your banana mixture.  You want to achieve a doughy consistency, so the amount of oats you use depends on the size of your banana.  For this particular batch I used about half a cup.  When you have thoroughly mixed everything, ball up your mixture and place on your pan.  I used a small cookie dough scoop for this.  You can also shape them into bars if you think your baby prefers this shape,  or even flatten them slightly to make a cookie.  Then pop the pan into the oven for about 15 minutes, or until your balls are golden brown.  Cool, then serve or you can put them in a freezer bag and store for a month.

*According to Baby Center, the American Academy of Pediatrics no longer considers raisins a choking hazard.  Make sure you separate the dried fruit (often times raisins and craisins clump together).  If you use dried fruit that are larger, like dates, cut them up so they are more manageable for a baby.

Moving with a Newborn

Posted in Mommy Life by

golden_gate_bridgeIn October 2012 my husband was offered a job in San Francisco.  We lived in SF the previous year, knowing it was only temporary, and loved it.  But we were a newly wed couple (1.5 years of marriage) still doing what late 20-somethings do in a city.  When the temporary gig was up, we moved back to my hometown to our old life more or less.

Baby Monster was a mere 2 months old when we were faced with this second huge life change (the first being his birth).  We were still adjusting as new parents, but with the benefit of having my parents and brother, not to mention the countless of friends, there to help us along the way.  We were exhausted, happy, overwhelmed, everything new parents experience, but we had the benefit of our personal support network.

Husband also got a job offer at a company in my hometown, which pay wise was great.  But deep down we knew that the best thing for husband’s career was to pick up and move to SF.  And so he left at the end of October to embark on his new job opportunity, in addition to sort things out so that the transition for Baby Monster would be seemingly seamless.

Baby Monster and I finally made the leap in December 2012 at 4 months old.  Not only were we dealing with a huge move and 3 time zones, but the dreaded 4 month sleep regression.  Husband and I were even more exhausted, stressed, angry, sad, beaten, and without our support system.  Sure we had friends here, but we were the only ones married let alone with child.  My husband’s parents did come for Christmas, but that only provided a temporary reprieve and even then they too dreaded the sleep regression.  At our wits end, I was prepared to leave my husband and take Baby Monster back home with me.  I loved him dearly, but at the time I felt like things changed for the worse because everything was left behind on the other side of the country.

Ultimately we stuck it out and became stronger as family.  Baby Monster learned how to sleep again (thanks to sleep training).  Husband and I worked through our roles as parents to help support each other more.  We try to do things that we used to do before Baby Monster.  We began to develop a new support network here in SF.

The point of this post is to remind everyone, especially myself, that the mantra “This too shall pass” is, in fact, incredibly true.  It may seem like the end of the world and you may be desperate enough as a parent to give up, but you’ll learn from it, grow from it, and be stronger because of it (as cliché as it may be).  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.